He said forever, I belive it. How it turn out like this? Am I in wrong? Its not his fault, I cant blame him. But why am I suffering like this? Why cant i juts forget everything? Is it cause its my first love? Or is it that i really love him? Nobody could answer these question, not even myself.
Many said they are glad it end but Im the one suffering the most. My foolishness brought me here and I need to accept the cosicouses. Sometimes I do dream we would be together, having a family. All my foolish doing end up hurting my ownself. I know it would happen to me since the begining but I still couldnt stop myself.
They say love come and goes. But to me it's a different consept. The meaning of love issint cause you are attractive to a person, nor your heart beat fast infront of them, it's someone who touches your heart when nobody did before; A warm feeling that you had in your heart that last; Warm, comfortable place to be never wanting to leave.
Sometimes I do feel he doesnt know his feelings. Love issint you felt for someone and you get them. Its what once in a life time you only could find one. It's like when you are 6 years old and you beg your mom to buy you ice-cream at baskin robbins. You tried all the sample then you bought a flavor. After eating few mouth, you dislike it and you cry and beg your mom to take you back and buy you another. Why can't just follow your heart and choose one in the beginning, it would be much more easiler. But there's a limit. You can buy all you want but when you reach the end you don't have the money to buy any.
I guess I have been lying to myself all the time. Look where my selfishness brought me to. I really hope that I never did meet him and I wouldnt fall for him. I think it's better this way, even if Im afraid of myself for the rest of my life. But I cant cry over a split milk, what done is done.
I had choosen with my heart what I wanted. I will always like the flavor I choose and I will never change it. All I want to say when you need me I would be there and nothing more. I only want you to be happy...