I thought that I was strong enought to handle it yet my body couldnt take it anymore. I dont know Im geting sick of whatever but I still couldnt stop thinking the foolish things I said to people. Expescially to everyone. Sometimes I said stupidly or abit harsh. I really tried my best to think before what I said. It's really emberess thinking of what I've said in the past when it doesnt felt like me. Sometimes I wish I could turn back the time. I know some people understand me even I've said the wrong things but some who doesnt know me felt like I hate them. ARHhhh.... Soo emberessing. I only could think of it but I don't know why I couldnt change it. Time passes slowly, I lost myself gratuately. I'm sorry if I treated someone weirdly, harsh or stupidly. I really din't mean it.

Sigh!!!! I'm going to tell my best friend. I always have the words in my head but it seems that I cant say it out but tomorrow I will no matter what! Even if she thinks I'm a fool. I proud to say I love him and she needs to know that.

Also I cant on till my result improve.. I mean by alort. Tio daddy ban. =( But I must get the result as they expected that I can get~ Then I can get my things that I want! Good luck to me.... Going to miss soo many people but hope they still will be my friend when I come back. Muacks! <3

I still do have those weird hopes even I knew it was not meant to be. I hate it.. I hate to hope.. I hate that I love him.. I hate when I thought of him.. But as I hate, I loved him more. Dammit -_-" Even when I was shopping, I think of him if he's here... During my trip back to my home, I just thought of him the whole way. Tears in my eyes, I cried... Yea, I did cried, looking out of the window.... Sigh... Let it go if there isn't meant to be.

Morning, I had a cup of warm milo. I went out of the house and sit down on the stairs and watch the fishes. I saw 2 red dragonflies flying everywhere together. How cute?? Then came a orange dragonfly. The dragonflies flew together.. How cute?

That afternoon, my cousin took me around Singapore. We went shopping and that was the first time i sit a MRT. We shopped whole afternoon and at night we went to watch movie. Super tired!! But it was fun! I really love here alot. I wish I could stay longer...

I love sg I love sg I love it!!! I dont want to go back... I promise I will study hard! Then in future I will work here..!! I love here soo much... its like falling in love with the city! Not just because of the shopping mall but its also dam nice living here. =X

Why? why cant I get my mind of him.. I knew clearly that he would forgotten me already. It just that I couldn't control my heart. From the beggining, that is what the distraction I'm trying to avoid.

I cant say I din't had fun but somehow I felt depress. It's fun living here, I wish I could live here. Taste how issit like for him. It felt soo nice, to beable to felt that he's here. That be close to him. Eventhough I went shopping, I still wish I could just see him. Then I could just turn back with my face with tears and walk away. I just want him to be happy. I just want to tell him how much I loved him. That loving is soo pain that its a scar for me, a painful one.

That hurts... the so call "Silence pain". It hurts the most...


Everynight I keep telling myself don't cry. Everynight I cry. I keep telling myself he's not the one but everytime I thought of it, it makes me think he's the only one for me. He's the only one I cared, even if you see me having a smile on my face, yet I still feel sad inside. He is my first and only person in my life I ever loved.. My first love......

He's the only person I wanna kiss, the only person I wanna be with for the rest of my life. The only person I can never forget...

- -" dam tired.... Saturday morning went to KL for 3 days then going to Singapore for 3 days then rush back to go for camp. What the hell....... freaking tried..!!! I dont want to go to camp. I want to stay at Singapore longer...