Days... Weeks... Actually its only 5 days. It started from the beginning.
Oh my "Tian"!
*STAB!*
"AAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Fresh blood slipped to the edge of a rusty knife, stained with blood from the past. As shadow stealth pass the back of the stage. Silence it maybe, a player on the stage acts as nature shows.
Deaf.... As people floats around me. Felt like a blurred dream. Overwhelm with pain at every corner of my mind as I tried to fight my way through it. I reached out for a seat and my dearest friend, Natalie took my hand as she calm me down with question marks all over her head. Asking me what had happened as I just took the pain to myself using my other hand to hide my wound. I turned and smile. I answered "I guess I'm having gastric." Another friend of mine, Cindy handed me a piece of cake. She gave me a light pat on my shoulder asking me if I'm fine. I nodded. Feeling drowsy every moment as I need to head to the rest room after I had some bite.
As I’m heading my way to the rest room as I walked 2 blocks as if I walked 200 miles pulling my other half of my body along, alone. Natalie did offer me help but I couldn't accept a hand just for myself sakes. She had to take care of the stall with Cindy operating it when they finally officially started the event. Streets crowed with people because of the morning rain as they tired to avoid the water splashes down from the sky above.
As I felt something was wrong as the pain slowly bleed all over my stomach, I had to surrender and called it off. I couldn't remember much, it was kind of blurred every second now and then... I only remembered lying down with care, looking out into the sky. What a lovely day, it started with drops of water from heaven as it wet the earth below us. I remember cool wind blew wildly but in a way it's still gracefully...
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Trying to be strong as I controlled my emotions, feeling confused. Tears filled up my sight that I could barely see. It finally burst like a volcano. Lava flows, burning its path yet just like water, following every curve and not against around my cheek. Tears flowed down like waterfall as I used my hand to wipe it off, blushing in front of the doctor feeling ashamed of myself. How could a girl at my age cried shamelessly in the public? With his deep voice, he said "Don't cry dear. It's going to be fine." In my head, thoughts ran through me again and again. Am I going to die? Is it some kind of diseases? Is it a kidney disease? What does appendices means? My mother in the other hand rushed back as fast as she could without saying anything about it. It was quiet in the car, as I tried to wipe the tears that flow so quickly. Like other like daughter, she had thoughts filling her mind too. Which I think is "What am I going to do? Tomorrow I had an appointment at KL but she need to get to Malacca tonight." She had been missing her appointment at KL about 2 times, she couldn't dare to disappoint the doctor again.
"I think we cancel the appointment and take her to Malacca tonight. Papa, so how?" she said confusedly with her shining wild eyes to my father. My father, he kept quiet wearing his thinking face. My elder brother standing at the corner suggested going to KL then I'm able to get into a hospital and mother also able to have her appointment. However his suggestion wasn't heard as everyone in that room was too busy panicking. Suddenly, my father said "Why don't we going to KL tonight so Jade could stay at a hospital at KL rather than leaving me alone at Malacca when nobody (relative) is there and you could go for the appointment too." As the room went silence again, my brother was stunned. Well, I don't mind traveling another hour to KL rather than Malacca being alone in the hospital.
My mother gave the whole world a surprise! Seriously even half an hour for her packing its FAST! It was half pass nine when everything was checked as we wanted to set off. One problem, where is the car key? Who took it after opening the booth of the car? Bloody hell, we wasted 15 minutes finding the key while I'm in pain in the car. In the end we had no choice and no time, my mother took the spare key and we set off to KL that very night.
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Cold and pain, that's all in my mind right now. As mom reach out her hand using her warm slim finger as she tried to warm me by rubbing my leg creating heat. I was shivering tremble on the hospital bed. In that moment, the doctor came to check on me. He said I have to go for urine test and blood test. Blood?! Warm tears flows gently down my face. I hate needless that’s what was in my mind.
A nurse came to take some blood sample. She pulled out a needle as I quickly switch my head to the other end of the bed. With all my courage I tired to get the hold of myself as I took deep breath in and out. My mom in the other hand was holding my other hand calming me down. Waiting for the nightmare was over as my mom was by my side through it together.
A nurse was pushing me on a wheelchair while I’m half awake. There aren’t many memories there except remembering that I’m trying my best with the ache in my stomach as I crawl onto a bed beside me. It was around half past three, my mother, my brother and my sister had left the hospital. I was alone again in a dark room as I slowly go felt into a deep sleep again…
* * *
I was lying on the bed waiting patiently for the nightmare to begin, the surgery. I know that I wouldn’t want tat but I have to play along, I want to take this awful pain away. I have to admit, I was scared. Just then, the doctor came asking where my mom is. I took a deep breath and said “Mummy isn’t here. She went back.” The doctor calmly said “We need somebody to sign before you are allowed to start the surgery. Is there any relative here who can sign the papers? As you said, your mother went back? To Johore? Are you left alone? Who took you here to KL?” I bitted my lips and answered “Urm… My brother drove me and my mother up. She’s staying with my aunt but she had appointment this morning to another doctor.” The doctor thought for a moment and said “Can we call your mother down here to sign these papers?” I replied “Err… I think so.” Then, the doctor gave his orders to the nurse standing beside him and then walks out the door as he vanishes.
I was caught up with fear the whole morning. The next thing I remembered, I was lying on the bed, heading to the operation room. My mom came because she had to sign the papers and call me not to be scared as I watch her standing there as I lost the sight of her. My heart beat faster and faster as I tired to be strong to stop the tears and my fear…
* * *
I woke up from my conscious and I saw my mom in front of me. I was so glad for the first time being so lucky that I’m awake. My wound still hurts but I wouldn’t mind it. My grandma was there too, she bring along her special porridge with my little sister next to her. My sister was curious about my surgery as she ask me what happen. I told her I couldn’t really remember much. My mother and my grandma came twice every day, day and night.
Before that day, I dreamed that I was in bed with hot cup of Chocó in my hand. I hold it as if it’s precious gold with a smile on my face. With it smell, its heaven! Though in reality, I wasn’t allowed to eat or drink yet. Before my mom left, all I could ask was “Can I take a look at the porridge? Even if I’m not allowed to eat, please mummy.” Its was horrible, seeing food in front of me and I’m not suppose have a bite of it.
My aunt and aunt came that night and the following day too. I was surprise that they came to visit me as they took their time off just to see me. I was glad even if my stomach still hurts. They also bought me some food and books for me to pass the time there.
Especially my father who drove all the way from Johore to see me, he couldn’t take me up to KL the other day because he had a business meeting at Terengganu on the following day. When I heard he was coming up, my heart jump with joy~ I really love my father. My mother, my brothers and my sister too! When they came to visit me that night, they kept on making me laugh till my stomach hurts so badly. It feels like my wound is opening up. They kept on talking crap that I couldn’t stand just not laugh.
* * *
The day when I could leave the hospital, my elder brother, my mother and my grandma came to visit. My brother keep making me laugh and my stomach wound hurts a lot. For example, I told him that just now the student nurse’s first time cleaning people’s wound and her hand was shivering as she clean my wound and her face was full of sweat. When she pull out the tube from my stomach that hurts so badly that she kept on saying “Sorry ah.” He said try fainting as she pull, see what her reaction is. I laugh till I couldn’t catch a breath. My grandma scolded me “Don’t laugh. Later your wound will open up.” I kept saying “Don’t blame me, he keep making me laugh.” Then she said “Angry at him.”
The nurse also thought there’s something wrong with me as I couldn’t control myself as I were holding on the door catching my breath.
Actually, having to go to hospital to have surgery wasn’t a horrible experience as everyone thought. I’m able to see with my own eyes, releasing that even you thought you are alone in the world, there’s people who really care. Family, I couldn’t find anyone as caring as them in the world. Even though we fight sometimes but we won’t keep in heart. They meant a lot to me in this world. My entire relative visited me when I was in the hospital dying there. Not exactly all, I mean the ones who stays at KL. Even if they couldn’t make it, they gave me a call too, asking if I’m fine and how was the operation. Seriously, I wouldn’t trade them for the world…
I love my family! *hEartS*
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