Had a fantastic feast with red wine. Strawberries and white wine for dessert. My bro cook to replace for Christmas eve and New Years eve. By the way, I love his toast. He said "Thanks to my family that giving me support and the money to send me to a good school that I was able to love. And my dad for choosing the right course for me." It was quite stupid of me saying that I was amaze. The reason why I do cause all I think was myself. I always think why nobody ever liked me? Why am I the worse among my family? Will anyone like me? I always ask but I never do anything. All I think was myself. I never thought of my family, they gave me soo much that I couldn't return them any. Sometimes I cried cause regreting I din't do my best for them. I cried when my parents talk to me, trying to tell me to be a better person but still I couldn't control my tears. I feel sad because I disappointed them. I may want some love but its not the right time for me now. Love from my family is enough for me to go so far. Fate will lead me to the person that would love me as much as I return it...